When I first went natural over 4 years ago, I tuned into many women on YT for styling tutorials and Kerry of SimplYounique was someone that I tuned into faithfully even though our textures are different because her videos were easy to follow, the picture quality was great, and her personality was very relatable. Watching her videos also inspired me to start making YT videos because I wanted to be the “Kerry” for someone with my tighter kinky, curly, coily texture.
While going through my hundreds of YT subscriptions today I was super excited when I saw a video from SimplYounique because her last video was over 1 year ago. When I read the title of the video my eyes opened WIDE “Relaxed Hair Update 2014” WHAAAT? DID I MISS A VIDEO OR SOMETHING? Usually theres an update after we’ve been told the news, but this was my first time hearing of her being relaxed!
Being a total fan of Kerry’s I understand what my “loves” aka fans go through when I make drastic changes around my hair, like my most recent big chop and then the 2nd chop to make it shorter and then the 3rd cut to maintain the style. I feel like I know her, she is in fact my friend in my head and for her to relax her hair had me all choked up and feeling some type of way!
From Kerry’s YT Channel, she says
Hi Everyone! This is an update hair video. Life threw a few curve balls my way and I could not maintain the hair prepping, detangling or styling of my hair in it’s natural state. It became extremely time consuming as my hair got longer, so I gave myself two option.. And that was either to cut it all off or to just relax it. I chose to relax my hair for no other reason than for the convenience of it. Unfortunately I have not been taking care of my hair because it is no longer on the top of my priority list. Has my hair suffered? The answer is Yes! Now, I have to learn how to take care of relaxed hair.
Oh and her hair looks really healthy and is very very long. Wow!
I have no place to judge her because it’s her life and her hair and she can do what she want, but I’m hurt when another positive role model in our community makes the decision to relax their hair and then says they did it because it’s “easier”. This messaging is what hurts me, not the decision. Do what you want, but own it. Tell me what you think. Is relaxing your hair after years of being natural because it’s easier a legitimate reason or a cop out?
I can come up with a few alternatives that I personally would choose to do to my hair instead of relaxing it if my life got too tough and I was having trouble managing my hair. And actually, the first one I did do when my life was overwhelming because I was pregnant with my 2nd child, was high risk, maintained a full time job and had a 2 year old son, hubby, and was in the process of buying a house. PROTECTIVE STYLES ANYONE? Anyone with no time knows how convenient this can be. Kerry mentioned that she is currently keeping her hair “in a ponytail, a bun or under a lace front.” So basically she’s protective styling her relaxed hair. #noshade
Just in case you read that paragraph as judging, I’m going to say it again, I’m not judging her, I’m addressing her reasoning as to why she chose to relax her hair. She said she had no time, right? If you’re ever too busy to do your natural hair this is another alternative that you can take versus relaxing your hair, why not try a low manipulation style like mini twists that can last weeks or a marley bun which can last at least a week.
And my final option which I tell people all the time, you don’t have to relax your hair to wear it straight. Heat styling is not foreign to anyone, visit a salon for a blow dry and flat iron and voila. I ask you once again, Is relaxing your hair after years of being natural because it’s easier a legitimate reason or a cop out?